I had an ongoing daydream that I pushed to the sideline for over 5 years. Actually, worse than that; I kicked that daydream off my very own team.
I put zero energy into that dream for 5 years because I was so freakin’ scared of what everyone else would think.
My poor little daydream of building my own creative business gave me major anxiety so I dismissed it. Even though I knew how awesome it would be to actually manifest that dream, I was extremely scared of the misunderstanding, rejection, and judgement from other people. I always prioritized, “but… what will they think of me”?
You see, I used to measure my own self-worth by what others thought about me and how they perceived me. I only found value in myself when I was making other people happy or proud. I sought and craved validation from everyone else instead of myself.
This people-pleasing priority made me a very successful saleswoman in my career, but also a person who was not living her truth nor working with authentic intention.
Listen, letting judgement haunt our minds can be the worst self-punishment and can tamper with our true beliefs about ourselves. Letting other peoples opinions actually impact your life decisions can be the worst form of deviation, especially when you’re living on a totally different wavelength.
What have I learned over the past year? You will always be judged, all the time, no matter what you choose to do — often times intentionally and other times subconsciously. I’m not solely talking about that judgement from your “self-proclaimed opponent”, but the judgements from all of your critics including [not limited to]: friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, people who want to see you succeed, those who want to see you fail, people who are intrusive, those who are worried about you, people who are envious, those who are bored, and people who are simply unhappy. All of em’.
Judgement can go any-which-way so we need to stop letting other peoples opinions into our minds and focus on being true to ourselves. Then at that point, we can live with authentic intention and live out our truth. We can also higher our standards for how we expect to be treated.
I have some advice on how you can forget about everyone else’s opinions to pursue your dreams. But first, let me tell you some short personal stories to explain how judgment from others will always exist and always attempt to bring you down (if you let it).
In 2016 I was doing really well in my corporate sales job and made the mistake of telling an old childhood friend the amount of money I was earning. I thought we were in a safe space of celebration and understanding.
Fast forward a few short months later and my personal income was spread amongst other childhood friends and used against me out-loud. In fact, a year later I was judged as “not having good values” and my lifestyle was frowned upon (living on a completely different wavelength = totally misunderstood).
All of a sudden everything I did was wrong and tainted. The hard-earned vacation, the nice bottle of wine, living in NYC, going out dancing on a Friday night was judged as “She is a show-off, irresponsible, and doesn’t have her priorities straight”.
The amount of money I earned and worked so freakin’ hard for was viewed like it was handed to me on a silver platter. The lifestyle I built for myself was viewed as “wrong”.
As much as I wanted to stand up for myself, I didn’t need to because I knew how hard I worked and all the sacrifices I made to reach my goals.
The reality is that judgments are perceptions created by ones own insecurities, and they should mean nothing to you. Those judgments are not a reflection of who you are.
My TRUTH = 10 years of extremely hard work.
Including not limited to: Supporting myself through a quota-carrying sales job while a full-time college student, moving across the country to start my corporate career at a salary that barely paid rent, 70-hour work weeks, living for the weekends, moving across the country again, and then again, high pressures, insomnia, overwhelming anxiety, waves of work-induced depression, and abandoning my passions for 10 years. That’s how I reached my financial and lifestyle goals.
Their PERCEPTION = cue the lavishly gluttonous scenes from Marie Antoinette…
Okay, now let’s fast forward to 2018:
I finally had an awakening and walked away from my corporate career — the same career I spent 10 years building. You know why? I wasn’t truly happy nor fulfilled and finally gained the courage to tell myself the truth – You can read the story here. You know that saying “I am learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me”? I now know that amazing sound.
At last, I opened my arms up to my poor little daydream and gave it a huge apology and hug. I reconnected with myself and decided to follow my creative passions and invest in my own happiness.
I also went on a 6-month trip around the world with my husband which was a dream of ours to do together; we finally forgot about what everyone else would think and said LETS DO IT.
Guess what next? Dun dun dun… overflowing judgment.
How can you leave your career like that?
What are you going to do for money?
Who in their right mind leaves everything to travel for 6 months?
I don’t get what she’s doing with her life.
Are you trying to be a stay at home dog mom?
Did you really leave Google… for that?
New Me Mentality: LOL + smirk
Here is my advice on how to ditch the fear of judgment so you can finally follow your dreams:
Whenever you get haunted by “what will they think”, “how can I explain to them”, or “how do I prove my worth and sanity” go through this other people checklist:
- Are they happy and successful in their own lives?
- Do they pay your bills or write your paycheck?
- Have they ever shared similar dreams or aspirations?
- Are they an uplifter or a bring-downer?
- Are they working and/or living with authentic intention? A very easy way to measure this = How often do they say “TGIF”, “Sunday Blues”, or “ooof…I hate Mondays”?
- Do they live on your same vibration?
Also, repeat these statements to yourself out loud:
- I own my own reality
- Only I can make myself truly happy
- I’m the only one who knows my truth
- Judgments are simply perceptions stemmed from one’s own insecurities and have nothing to do with me.
Lastly, read this every single morning and remember that your #1 goal should be to find alignment and agreement with yourself:
When you find vibrational alignment with You, you personally thrive. You feel good; you look good; you have stamina; you have energy; you have balance; you have clarity; you have wit; you have abundance of all things that you consider to be good. You thrive in all ways when you come into Energy Balance with You. Vibrational Relativity – that’s what it’s all about. ~ Abraham Hicks
No one can bring you down from your truest vibration. More dream-chasing advice coming soon!
Check out How to Spring Clean Your Life next.