Can reality truly be defined?

If you read the dictionary, reality is defined as “the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.” I really don’t believe in this conservative narrow-minded definition. Our world would not be progressing without the idealistic actions of people serving the greater good of the world. What’s the harm in wearing rose-colored glasses when they drive people to make a positive impact? What would we do without the scientists, astrologers, numerologists, astronauts, or doctors who spend their life forming theories and hypotheses about humankind and our universe?

Let’s be real here; unless you’re on a psychedelic or suffer from a psychiatric illness where you believe you’re trapped on Mars, your reality is truly whatever you want it to be.

Two of my all-time least favorite phrases in life are “they’re not living a real-life” or “welcome back to reality”.

Seriously though, what does that mean? Every single person on this planet forms their own day-to-day reality. How we see, perceive, and live our lives is up to us individually. There are almost 8 billion people on Earth across 7 continents whom speak 6,500 different languages. How is it possible that there is “a reality”?

Reality is not solely defined by where you live or what you do for work. Reality is created by your upbringing, experiences, belief system, spirituality, mindset, perspective, and actions. Your reality is your own, and impossible to define universally.

We are all the creators of our own reality. We are the authors of our own book, the painter of our own landscape, the director and star of our own movie.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

What I do know for sure after watching so many people living their realities over the past 30+ years? There are world changers who walk the path of unknown to find true purpose in life, and there are conformists who walk the path of least resistance and prefer the comfort zone. There are people who question existence, take risks, and embrace change to find fulfillment. Then there are those people who feel scared, too comfortable, don’t ask questions, or feel tied down to what has been handed to them. 

If you have a closed mind that feels safe or trapped in conformity, you see the world very differently than those with an open mind searching for purpose and more meaning in life. People living with an open-mind see unlimited opportunities for growth and expansion, believe in infinite enlightenment, and find a truly fulfilling life believing “Wow, this is it, this is what I am here to do”. 

To reach that “ah-hah” moment it often times takes a painful event or awakening where you can break free from the bubble of conformity to find your meant-to-be reality. I have a lot of “ah-hah” transformational stories including my very own, but for now let’s talk about Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games. Although a fictional story of extremes, the underlying meanings are so crazy relatable to our societal mindsets. Katniss had to experience a complete breakdown and overcome major tribulations and losses before bringing forth a revolution.

I know, I know, I am bringing fiction to life and talking about worldly revolutions, but I’m allowed to in my own reality. Although the story is far-reaching, what I am really alluding to is an internal revolution – a revelation. Katniss finally broke free from the chains of conformity where she was living an empty life based on others expectations and through overcoming her fears, she found herself and became aligned with her purpose. Not to mention she made a huge positive impact on everyone around her at the same time.

Moral of the Story: Reality is what you make it. Reality is your creation. Reality is what you live for every day. Just make sure your reality is truly yours and gives you purpose and fulfillment. Reality should be your alignment.

After going through my own tribulations and losses, I traveled around the world for 6 months with my husband and my perspective on “real life” rotated and expanded to combustion. Since being back in New York City I have been asked so many times “how does it feel to be back to reality? Which makes me smirk so super loudly 😏 … Reality? The world 🌍that I just traveled around is real, and I lived a very real-life reality all around it. In fact, I experienced the realest sh*t ever and life feels even more real to me now than it ever did before which feels awesome. 

Here is my guidance for everyone out there living real-life on Earth:

The world is the perfect canvas to manifest the reality you really want. What do you want to wake up to every day? Who do you want to be with? What do you want to see out the window? What do you want to be creating for the world?

I feel like too many of us our constrained by “what we’re supposed to do”. Even if we’re unhappy, we tend to feel too anchored down, guilty, or fearful to make a change. Many times we are scared of judgment. Listen – we are not born into this world to simply conform to a life that we feel like we “have to live” or maybe “seems like a great life” to everyone else. This leads to resentment and lack of life fulfillment. We are born into the world to create change and make an impact, to bring value to the world and to live with true authentic intention.

Are you dreaming of a completely different life or career that seems light-years away? It’s not, I promise. You need to be strategic and resourceful and take a chance on yourself. It takes perseverance and action.

If you want to move to a small loft in Paris, learn French, and follow your love for art – don’t overthink it. Create a plan and make it happen.

If you want to sell everything you own to build an online business and become a digital nomad who hops around Asia — make a plan and go for it.

Maybe you finally want to leave corporate America to start your own passion business, whether that is opening a cafe, becoming a consultant, or starting a tour guide company – be resourceful and start building.

Are you an idealist who wants to fight to end child starvation and believes in the possibility? Start that nonprofit and find your tribe that shares the passion and motivation.

If you want to buy that dream house in the suburbs of America and have lots of children because you have that liberty, go do it.

Or maybe you grow a beautiful family while traveling around the world like my heroes, The Bucketlist Family. Anything is possible when you set your heart, mind, and soul to manifesting and creating it for yourself.

Just make sure you don’t judge other people’s real lives while you are living yours.


More encouragement on chasing dreams and creating dream-like realities right over here.



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